… making time to connect is the most productive thing we can do to thrive at home or at work.
Jen Nash describes herself as a passionate executive coach and corporate trainer who helps companies create connected cultures despite being physically more disconnected than ever. Her new book, The Power of Tiny Connections, demonstrates that making time to connect is the most productive thing we can do to thrive at home or at work. I am delighted to make a connection with Jen and now, you can be connected too.
Lyndi: The Big Power of Tiny Connections, shares true-life stories and scientific research about how people can make connections that lead to a healthier life. Why are these connections so important?
Jen: If you want to live a more interesting, entertaining and enriching life, it’s actually critical we don’t avoid or ignore connective opportunities. Tiny connections can help us get a better job, get invited to more parties, become a better person, make more money, make your life more exciting and they can even turn you into a super-connector!
We are cognitively, physically, biologically and even spiritually wired to love, to be loved and to belong, and when those needs aren’t met we don’t function the way we are supposed to. We fall apart, lean into addictions, get sick and we hurt others. Connecting with the world around us keeps us feeling loved and like we belong and that’s tremendously powerful.
Lyndi: Can you share a story about a connection that was a surprise to you?
Jen: Sure. Here’s one of the fun connections I share in my book that really highlights how little moments can transform your world. For my birthday, I historically have loved to go for high tea at a fancy hotel with someone who enjoys that sort of thing. I’m a fan of the petit fours, the tiny sandwiches, the scones, clotted cream and, of course, the excellent champagne. About a decade ago, my mother and I were having high tea at the Pierre Hotel, a classic New York landmark hotel, where I was planning to kick off my birthday week of silliness. We were sitting there enjoying the last sandwiches with our tea, when an older gentleman sitting nearby interrupted our conversation as he’d overheard us talking about living in Japan.
After asking us some questions about our experiences abroad, he politely begged our forgiveness for interrupting and went back to his iced tea. My mom and I however didn’t want to let him off the hook so easily. He seemed smart, interesting, and fun! So instead of staying in our own lanes and minding our business, we invited him to join us. It turned out he was not only the former mayor of a nearby large city but also the former governor of that state as well. He was very high energy and fun, and after twenty minutes or so, he invited us to join him for lunch two hours away at his home that was in a different state. Normally I don’t drive two hours for lunch, but we were planning to head in that direction, as I lived part-time in New York and part-time in his state as well … so we accepted his invitation and met him the next day.
Over the following years, we’ve developed a friendship that has enabled me to meet and spend time at dinner with celebrities such as like Norah Jones, Tony Bennett and his gorgeous wife Susan Crow, as well other notables like the NBA commissioner Adam Silver and financial journalist Maria Bartiromo. I even got to meet Presidential Candidate Mike Bloomberg. It’s amazing that one minute you’re having tea and chatting with your mother, then less than a year later you’re hanging out with celebs you normally only read about.
Lyndi: How did you get to a place where money was not a taboo subject to discuss?
Jen: Ha ha. Oh I haven’t. I don’t know that I ever will. I am very aware that we teach what we most need to learn, so while I was focused on empowering women around self-worth, I spent a lot of time reading about why men seem to have fewer issues discussing money and their finances. And really it just boils down to practise. Women are taught not to rock the boat, and there is a lot of data around how women who push for higher salaries and fight for appropriate raises, hurt their likeability at work. Not the case with men. There are plenty of double standards that are alive and well … this is just one of them.
Lyndi: The term used to label anyone who hesitates to self-promote is imposter’s syndrome. Do you have any tips for how writers and others can overcome this feeling of being a fraud?
Jen: Love this question. I actually talk about this in my book because research shows that nearly 70 percent of people are plagued with feelings of self-doubt… or imposter syndrome as your terming it.
Imposter syndrome is a pattern where someone doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments so they suffer from a constant internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud.’
While you might think that fame and success would reassure someone with huge talent and followers, sometimes self-doubt can still creep in. David Bowie is quoted as saying, “I had enormous self-image problems and very low self-esteem, which I hid behind obsessive writing and performing … I really felt so utterly inadequate. I thought the work was the only thing of value.”
Many people talk about ‘faking it, until you make it’ to overcome imposter syndrome. I’m a massive fan of this approach. Don’t listen to that voice in your head. You’ve got a lot to offer, go out and offer it! You never know where your initiative will lead. But if you can’t pep talk your way into a better state of mind, do the following:
Stop talking and take action. Rather than try to convince yourself you can do better, give it a shot. Even if you initially fail, action is motivating and encourages you to try again—which of course increases your odds of success and gets your thoughts headed in the right direction. As humans, we like to overthink things. By jumping in and doing the thing you are nervous about you’re taking a stand and making tangible efforts.
Focus on your past successes. Take stock of what you’ve done well. Make a list of your achievements and when you hit a mental roadblock, review your past wins. Reminding ourselves that, “We’ve got this” goes a long way to keeping us moving forward.
Celebrate each win, big and small. If you’re stuck in a pit of self-doubt, you can become consumed by it. It’s easy to blow insecurities out of proportion. Try to notice when you have negative thoughts and realize they are just that—thoughts. Focus on the small wins, and the momentum built by those tiny changes can add up quickly. Make notes about what’s working and where you’re feeling good. Identify what you’re doing to support the good and do more of that. This will help you keep tabs on your wins. What we focus on will grow, and soon you’ll have more wins.
Lyndi: I’ve often heard writers say that you can’t make money writing fiction. How do the principles you share apply to writers who need to make more and own what they’re worth?
Jen: Interesting question. Well in the book I talk about finding someone who IS doing the thing you want to do and turning them into a mentor. I would start there. My book isn’t fiction, so I obviously have little intel, but from what I’ve gathered, they have to publish a lot, grow their relationship with their agent, and go for bigger and bigger advance checks. And I would also think this really boils down to research. Your self-worth in the publishing world boils down to sales, followers, and the power of your agent’s pitch, so do your homework and be prepared. Spend the year growing your followers as you send out your pitch proposals … do the work.
Lyndi: What strategies do you use to market your book? Are there new strategies you’d like to try?
Jen: My book is something I wanted to share with the world so that people would understand my unique approach to moving through time and space and the world all around. It was something that I worked on during the pandemic, after being asked the question: “What makes you uniquely you?” Getting it out into the world has been a huge effort and challenge, but I did it and I’m very happy with the result. I have become an Amazon Best Seller and just won GOLD in the Global Book Awards in the Business Communication Skills Category. So while I’m entering competitions, and working with Creative Edge a Canadian Publicist, marketing is a whole other adventure. I’m truly focused on having the book support my corporate training initiatives.
I very clearly understood when publishing this book that it was a powerful element to underscore that I’m a knowledge leader in the world of connection and retention. As a result I’m less focused on book sales and more focused on connecting with companies who really want to create connected work places despite having a very disconnected workforce. Helping people feel more see is what I live for, and if my book can support that? Then life is in harmony.
Some authors are shy and a little withdrawn...but not Jen Nash. As a Connector in Chief, Jen Nash helps people add more meaning to their lives through connections. She is a master facilitator, author, sought-after executive coach, and corporate trainer/speaker. Not surprisingly—her Masterful Storytelling corporate training garners rave reviews when it comes to helping support employees become more audience-focused, connection-minded, and grounded when they speak or present.
With over twenty years working as a senior consultant for Fortune 100 Tech, Finance and Pharma giants, Jen Nash now regularly inspires and supports successful and driven leaders at firms large and small—to face their sense of loneliness, numbness and to course correct to step into their personal version of “more.”
Born in Canada and raised around the world in such countries as Hong Kong, Japan, and Australia, Jen still loves to travel especially to see her bonus kids and goddaughters—scattered around Europe and North America.
